Title: 3/5
You should have chosen a better title. Your title gives an insight of what I should expect from your story, but its way too revealing. You should understand the knack of attracting your readers. And the secret lies in choosing a smart and innovative title.

Poster/Background: 6/10
The poster is really pretty but it does not blend well with the background. You could have opted for a better background. The composition of the images really displays the characters well and has all the ten characters, thus giving the poster a unique border. The color of the font used for the text could have been brighter.

Forewords: 2/5
The foreword is written very poorly. An author should be proud of the work that they put together so admitting that you cannot write ‘forewords’ in your forewords shows your lack of confidence in your writing. The extract which you wrote as your forewords, didn’t give me any idea of your story. A tip that can help you improve your forewords is to write maybe a section of your story that you think is interesting or a prologue that will lead the reader to the first chapter.

Plot: 9/15
Your plot is very monotonous. I mean, I’ve read many similar plots to the one you’ve chosen. Two groups collaborating and a love story amongst them, isn’t my cup of tea. However, you did make it interesting by adding quirkiness and dorkiness in them. It made me read it till the end.

Flow: 7/10
Your flow is very mismatched. It’s too slow in the beginning and too fast at times. It’s so hard to keep track of the plot if your flow doesn’t match in the course. Please steady your flow.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 12\15
Full points for your spellings. I didn’t find any major spelling errors except for some typos. Your vocabulary is good. But it’s always good to improve our diction, right? Why don’t you try to use a few complex words, make your readers want to run for their dictionaries, and to applaud you for your diction? That’ll be amusing, right?
Now, let’s review your grammar. You need to work on your grammar. You confuse with the usage of verbs and tenses. Past tenses and past perfect tenses are different. It’ll be great if you try solving some grammar exercises.

Characterization: 7/10
You should have described your characters’ main physical traits/emotional traits in your forewords. And because you didn’t, it was totally upto my choice as to how I picturised them. And in this way, your story was being controlled by me. This is a disadvantage. In doing this, you just expose your flaws. You must specify their distinct traits so that your readers picturize your characters just the way you dictate. But, on the positive side, you stuck to your characters personalities. Thumbs up for that! This is because, I’ve reviewed many stories where the reader strays away from the described personality of the character.

Originality: 12\15
Like I mentioned before, I’ve read similar stories. But I can understand that it’s not a plagiarized plot. So I’ll give you the credit for your originality, but I’ll advice you to expand your creativity.

Writing style: 3\5
I personally don’t prefer your writing style. Your style didn’t attract me at all. It’s lame at times and you have to work on your grammar. You should mend your writing style.

Overall enjoyment: 5/10
Work hard!

Overall score: 66/100