If only there was more time [Review]
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Author: Love_Joongie
Title: If Only There Was More Time...
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/more_time
Reviewer: JiYoon @ sm-melodies.blogspot.com
*Note: This is nothing personal against the characters or the author, I am just reviewing this honestly and doing my best to give you feedback on your story.*
Title: 5/5
Your title fits your story very well and it foreshadows the story so very good choice!
Poster/Background: 9/10
Your poster is very beautiful and the background fits as well. The artworks don’t overpower the story and gives a certain mood. Good Job!
Forewords: 5/5
Your forewords are very good and tells a bit about the story. It hooked me in on the first sentence and I was curious to know about Yumi and her secret.
Plot: 13/15
Your plot isn’t the first one. I know a lot of people used that plot, but you made me want to read your story anyway. Your story is very interesting and the part with JaeJoong’s brother dying of heart disease and how Yumi will die because of a heart disease was very attention-grabbing making me think, is Yumi going to die like JaeJoong’s brother did? Or is it something else. It made me think. Great Job.
Flow: 8/10
Your flow is very steady and goes at its own pace however, it was a little bit fast for me.. But, it’s a short story so I understand.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 14/15
Overall, your grammar, spelling and vocabulary is excellent. However, I saw one or two tense mistakes. (past/present/future) But generally, it was fantastic.
Characterization: 9/10
Your characters are introduced and develops nicely in this story. Just be careful when you describe your characters to not put unnecessary descriptions. Overall, very good though.
Originality: 7/10
As I said before not an original plot but it’s your story and you get the points because you created it and made it yours.
Writing style: 4/5
Your style is very nice, very creative and I enjoyed reading this story.
Overall enjoyment: 8/10 Very nice!
Bonus: 3/5 For picking SM-MELODIES!
Overall score: 85/100