Making My Dream [Review]
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Title:Making My Dream
Author:ChaeYo
URL:http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/ChaeYo2/
Reviewer: Chin Yu @ Secret-Melodies
Title: 4/5
The title was alright for the story.
I couldn't think of anything else for the title.
Poster/Background: 8/10
I loved the poster. Compliments to the creator.
I think the quotes were a great addition.
It was very organized and great quality.
I didn't like the background though, it was the same as the poster.
But great colors!
Forewords: 4/5
You added great detail about the characters.
I liked the teaser, but I think you added a little bit too much into the forewords.
Plot: 8/15
Its still on going, but I wasn't clear on the plot.
I'll keep on reading(silently, if you don't mind) to see what happens with the characters.
There is a lot of dialogue, and not much description. Might want to add some more in future chapters =]
Flow: 7/10
It jumps around a lot.
I found myself going back over the section that I had read and reading it over.
Try keeping things more consistent(with the POVs and such)
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/15
Spelling(3): I noticed a lot of spelling mistakes. (ie, you put: 'curis' I think you meant: 'curious') English isn't my first language either(mandarin chinese and tagalog are the first two I learned) so I know its hard to get everything precise and correct. But you might want to go back and read over your chapters. Maybe checking out an online spellchecker(just google 'online spellchecker') they work wonders ;]
Grammar(3): Again, I understand English was not your native tongue. There were as many grammar mistakes as spelling mistakes. But I noticed they were mostly typos(you made a singular noun positive, ect) and you fluctuated on tenses(present, past, ect)
Vocabulary(3): For someone who isn't a nature English speaker I understand you aren't going to have a vast range of vocabulary, but some words were repeated too often. (Words like 'said' and 'asked' were used a lot.) There are online synonym generators. As a writer myself, I find these to be a lifesaver when I realize I use a word too much.
Characterization: 7/10
You developed the characters pretty deeply.
But I learned of the characters mostly through their dialogue, and not of descriptions.
This is something you should work on, because readers could misinterpret a character wrong, and that takes away from the overall experience of reading your story.
Originality: 6/10
I've seen stories like this before, so it wasn't completely original.
It is a little generic and bland, you should put more of yourself into the characters.
Again, going back to having mostly dialogue, you don't really get to express yourself as a writer through the characters(which is a big thing in writing)
Writing style: 3/5
Your writing style is alright.
You write long chapters, but they are mostly dialogue.
I know some people enjoy that, but a lot like reading more descriptions and body paragraphs.
Overall enjoyment: 6/10
I'm sorry(I must sound like a broken record) but there's too much dialogue.
I would really like to see more descriptions of the characters and storyline.
But the story is nice, I like it.
Especially since it has SHINee it it.
Bonus: 4/5
Overall score: 66/100