Loving You Hurts [Review]
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Author:saranghaeyo
Title:Loving You Hurts
Reviewer: Chin Yu
Title: 5/5
"Loving You" really tied into the story well. With a title like this it can't be generic nor original, though. full points :)
Poster/Background: 5/10
No BG or poster, I like the color scheme though. Aside from the epic light blue title color, the text is easy to read. but getting a poster and BG to match your story might attract more readers! why not request one from SM? ;)
Forewords: 3/5
Good character outline, not much of a teaser for what the story will be about. try adding a little bit more as to what the story is going to be about, and maybe add some more detail on the characters and setting.
Plot: 10/15
Its sort of a generic love plot. It has its own little charm to it, though. And it was able to leave me questioning what is going to happen next, which is what the story should do I think. I'll be silently reading for the remainder of the story to see how things end up to see what happens with the girl and TOP.
Flow: 5/10
It had a nice flow to it. It could have been better, though. It wasn't hard to read as far as it plot goes. It didn't jump around much, but it had its little speed bumps that had me re-reading what I had just read to fully understand it.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
There were many spelling and grammar mistakes, might want to go over it, re-read and make corrections. I noticed some of the spelling mistakes were merely typos, and the grammar mistakes were mostly not capitalizing correctly. also your vocabulary wasn't bad, but it wasn't great; try Googling a word you use a lot of and seeing what synonyms there are for that word.
Characterization: 8/10
You were really able to express the personalities of the characters well.
I was able to get a basic insight on their lives and personalities, but I would have liked more.
Add more details!
Originality: 8/10
Very original. I like the 'gangster' love story you are getting at. Though, it has that generic love triangle, points off for that :(
Writing style: 3/5
I like how you tired to keep the length of the sentences short and aligned, but it was hard to follow sometimes.
You had a lot of dialogue(which is good) but adding more details would be better.
Finally, the switches from tenses often, but as a writer I understand its hard to keep everything consistent.
Overall enjoyment: 7/10
I'm not much of a fan of the 'you' stories...though I liked the plot. I didn't like your way of writing(with trying to keep things short and aligned). Maybe try writing it in a more prose format; with paragraphs, longer sentences.
Again, add more details.
Overall score: 60/100
Thank you for requesting from Secret Melodies!