Lost in my own world. [Review]
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Author: Markie
Title: Lost in my own world.
URL:http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/makus/
Reviewer: Shia
Title: 2/5
The title was okay it wasn’t great. It didn’t really catch my attention also and honestly it didn’t really go with the story.
Poster/Background: 7/10
I really liked the poster it was pretty, the colors you used match a story a bit in a way except for the green and blue but I still love the poster.
Forewords: 3/5
Your forewords again didn’t really catch my attention it was kind of boring, it was the typical moving away, going to a new school, meeting a guy thing, so it didn’t get me interested at all.
Plot: 10/15
The plot was ok, I have seen this plot a lot of times but you had some parts where they were your own thing.
Flow: 5/10
The flow went really fast especially on how Jae and Yunho got together and how fast they fell in love, there were times when you made things go too fast and then there were times where it was slow. Which was a bit confusing? Also with the school thing, in the beginning they were all in school then it suddenly stopped and then when the story was almost done they go back? That made no sense to me, and at the end when they were fighting, I think they “died” too easily. I mean with Yoochun just doing a move then bam they disappear, I think any vampire could of done that.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
Your grammar was pretty good; there were just times when you had a misspelled word.
Characterization: 5/10
I don’t think you described the characters well enough, like Yunho one day he’s a mean guy then the next he’s a nice one, which one was he supposed to be, and he’s a vampire you didn’t do much with the vampire thing except him biting Jaejoong when they were doing “it” and at the end when they were fighting.
Originality: 5/10
This story was the regular vampire and human thing but then the human turned out to be an angel, I’ve read many stories like that, there were times when it was just your own thought but throughout the whole story it’s a typical one.
Writing style: 3/5
You have a pretty good writing style but you just need to tweak some things here and there and it’ll be good.
Overall enjoyment: 5/10
I admit the beginning was good but then, it started dragging things so it started getting me uninterested, and there were many parts where I just wanted to skip, but I had to read them to do this review.
Overall score: 54/100
I’m sorry if I sounded mean at any time but it was just my opinion. So please don't stop coming to sm-melodies just cause of this one review.