Sunday, January 1, 2006
SHINeeBLAQ - Today Was A Fairytale [R]
Title: 4/5
The title could be a little more creative, have more depth to it, and be more related to the story (sorry, but I don’t see how the title connects to the story at all), to draw the reader’s attention. The title didn’t give away the whole story so that was good. It is clean simple and neat, and also the first time, I personally, came across a title like this, so good.
Poster/Background: 8/10
The background was simple and one solid color, good! That really helps the reader’s eyes, I’m really glad you didn’t have your background with your poster in it otherwise it would have been distracting. The poster was fabulous too, it was really cute and I loved the line in it. But it could have been more related to the story, like you could have put the characters in your story into it. So the reader’s would know what characters would be inside your story.
Forewords: 4/5
Your forewords were simple and not much of a giveaway, good. Maybe you could have added some main boys in your forewords. The plot even though it was short it gave the reader an idea what this stories going to be about so that’s good, maybe a little more could have been better.
Plot: 14.5/15
Everything seems to be mysterious and just a tiny bit predictable not giving it away, I really loved that. But there were so many multiple plots it was getting a little confusing.
Flow: 7.5/10
Since you didn’t finish your story it was a little hard to mark you in this area. I can see your story is slowly making its progress to the climax, maybe you want to consider not to add everyone’s (all of the girls) POV otherwise your story might end ridiculously long (sorry). Since your story hasn’t reached its end I tried to mark only where you’re up to.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 13/15
I did see some mistakes, especially in your grammar. Your tenses were good but I did see one tiny little mistake in a chapter. Spelling and vocabulary were good. Try proof-reading your chapters before you upload them, so you don’t miss out on a word or two in your sentences. Put capitals in all beginnings, even if it is in a dialogue. Spell out numbers; it’s more grammatically correct that way. You might also want to describe the scenes more and add who’s talking after what they said, because no offence I was totally confused when reading your first 6 chapters. Try to and get out of the habit of putting two ‘o’s in the word so.
Characterization: 9.5/10
I could imagine what your characters were like and their personality, good. More description with the minor characters could have been better even if their minor.
Originality: 10/10
At least this is the first time I came across a story like this. Very original, I enjoyed it very much.
Writing style: 4.5 /5
Your writing style was good. I liked it. But personally I like more description with the surroundings.
Overall enjoyment: 10/10
I enjoyed your story from the top to the bottom.
Bonus: 2/5
For requesting at secret melodies.
Overall score: 87/100
Reviewer’s comments: I hope that I wasn’t too harsh to you and that this review can help you with your future writing. Best of luck.