Sunday, July 15, 2001
I never knew I would fall in love with you
Title: 4/5
The title relates to the story and gives a little insight to the story so that’s good, but it is too long. At least this is the first time I came across a title like this so it is not clichéd but similar titles have been used. The title could also be a little more creative.
Poster/Background: 8/10
The poster was fabulous and very well done. The quote was used effectively and it attracted my attention straight away. The expressions and colours were related to the story. The blue love heart background was beautiful but if it wasn’t for the white background the blue heart background would’ve interfered with the words and that’s not good.
Forewords: 4/5
The descriptions on the characters were good but more on the plot in the forewords could have made it better, it was too short.
Plot: 14/15
The plot was interesting and it made me continue to read on. But the rush at the end (2 years later) with three chapters was a little disappointing. The past life chapter plots were great and original but personally I thought they were too long. Try to concentrate more on the present plot.
Flow: 9/10
The flow was going great until you rushed to the end. Maybe next time try to add more on how the main people fall in love, ~~~~~ and L.joe seemed to fall in love to quickly and easily to be real.
Grammar/Vocabulary/Spelling: 11 /15
No spelling mistakes but a quite a lot of typos. Vocabulary was quite good. A grammar problem was a bit of past and present tense mix up. Hard words were used and that’s good, sometimes making the reader check the dictionary makes the story even more enjoyable.
Characterization: 6/10
I could see your main characters developing with their past stories. Try to make them develop in the present too, they were developing but you needed more. Skipping the two years did make the story end in a good length but destroyed how the characters were developing. I was looking forward to how your characters were going to develop when suddenly I saw ‘two years later’ I was quite disappointed. I could tell what your characters what feeling so that’s good, there outer appearance was well described a little more could have been better.
Writing Style: 10/10
I liked your writing style and it your story was well-written with it. Maybe you should just come up with a name for the girl protagonist though; your story will make more sense with a name. Also if you want more readers, a name is what most people like. Descriptions with the surroundings were well done.
Originality: 8/10
Similar plots have been used, though overall most of your story was quite original with the twists and with the chapters that included L.joe and ~~~~~’s past.
Overall enjoyment: 5/5
Your story was very enjoyable.
Overall score:79 /100
Reviewer’s comments: Good luck in future writing.