Sunday, February 25, 2001
Title: 3/5
Your title was pretty cliché, and gave away too much on what was going to happen in the story. I’ve read plenty of titles similar to this, example: ‘Living with famous idols.’ Or ‘Living with Super Junior.’ So it gave me a huge idea of your story progress and ending. But the title was related to the story, and short, neat and simple.
Poster/Background: 7/10
Your poster was way too crowded. Yes, I know super junior has thirteen members but you could have put a mini picture of the group and big pictures of the main characters. Your background… one thing I hate the most as a reader is having the poster in the background, it really distracts the readers in a bad way. Sometimes I can’t see what you wrote because of the poster.
Forewords: 4/5
Not too long and not too short, the right length good! Except that maybe you could have added what the main and minor characters were.
Plot: 13/15
Interesting plot, but like I said the story title gave away too much so I had to mark you down a little. The cliffhangers throughout it were nice.
Flow: 9/10
Great I could see the beginning climax and the ending. Even though I did see the climax it seemed a little flat, if you get what I mean. Maybe the climax could have been a little pointier.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 13 /15
Well I didn’t pick up many spelling or vocabulary mistakes. Grammar was good except that like many writers you had the past and the present tense a bit mixed up, but overall it was great.
Characterization: 9/10
I could tell what the characters were thinking, and I could feel them myself so that was great, especially for the protagonist. Maybe a little more on their outer appearance would have been better.
Originality: 11/15
Similar titles or the same titles normally have the same story line, and yours did. But there were unexpected twists and turns so that was quite nice. Bits and pieces of your story were original.
Writing style: 4/5
I really dislike long stories, by the time I get to the end I tend to forget what happened in the beginning. And since you chose the descriptive way of writing some parts of your story needed more detail. I was so grateful your story wasn’t a full dialogue one.
Overall enjoyment: 9/10
I really did enjoy it. Maybe making it shorter would have made me happier. And personally I don’t like super junior (sorry).
Overall score: 82/100
Reviewer’s comments: I hope I wasn’t too harsh or lenient, and that this review can help you with future writing. Best of luck!