Friday, January 28, 2000
Reviewer: Ishwarya @ Secret Melodies
Title: 2/5
I’m aware that this section is not about the ‘Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary’, but your title itself has a grammatical error. ‘How Do We Got Here’? It’s a total blunder. It should be ‘How Did We Get Here’ or something else. Moreover, the title isn’t much appealing too. You should make titles interesting so that readers want to read it from the first look.
Poster/Background: NA
Since you don’t have a poster/background, your review will be out of 90.
Forewords: 3/5
You did include the characters sketches in your forewords, which is very good. But again, it wasn’t attractive. You could have made it longer.
Plot: 10/15
Right now, I can’t comment much about your plot as it is incomplete. But till now, I found it a tad bit boring in certain areas. Your plot is simple, but you still can make it attractive by adding certain twists and turns. Till now, every event was predictable, which didn’t make it much enjoyable. As you still have to finish it, how about working more on your plot? You should have the knack to keep your readers hooked to your story, even if you’re plot is simple.
Flow: 8/10
Your flow is good. Even though it gets a bit boring in certain areas, you don’t seem to rush over the plot. Keep it up!
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5\15
Your grammar is very poor. As I commented earlier, your title itself has a grammatical error.
Then in your forewords,
1-‘A genius who drop out of TODAI aka Tokyo Daisuken/Tokyo University at the age of 17 years old. The only son/child in his family.’
It should be ‘A genius who dropped out of TODAI aka Tokyo Daisuken/Tokyo University at the age of 17 years. The only child in his family.’
2-‘How do we even get married?’ should be ‘How did we get married?’
3-‘I am not going to blab more about how sad my life is being married to him’ should be ‘I am not going to blab more about how sad my married life with Yoochun is….’
You should learn to present your sentence more beautifully. I understand that you’re not a native speaker, and thus I suggest that you solve grammar exercises to improve.
Characterization: 9/10
You stuck to your characters. You didn’t change them much. This is very commendable.
Originality: 10\15
The plot that you chose is very common. Even though you must have planned it on your own, it has some common adaptations in it. I will definitely correct my marks, if your originality enhances at the end of the story.
Writing style: 4/5
Your writing style is very simple and blunt. I like blunt writers. ^_^ I just wish that you correct your grammar errors and make it an unhindered read.
Overall enjoyment: 6/10
Frankly, I didn’t enjoy much because of the numerous grammar errors. Please correct them and request again. I’d certainly give it a read for the second time to appreciate your effort.
Overall score: 57/100